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  • 1 day ago
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nonomella:

my 6-year-olds were upset because i taught them ‘television’ and they were like NO TEACHER IT’S A TV

so i wrote ‘television’ on the board and highlighted “T” and “V” and they reacted like i’d just taught them the secrets of the universe

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  • 1 day ago
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tongue-toyed:

i never really liked

my name

much

until i found out

what it tastes like

when you write it in frosting

on top of a cake

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  • 1 day ago
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merylstreepismymom:

"what does your tattoo mean?"

It means I wanted it so I fucking got it

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  • 1 day ago
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silohouettes:

The difference between period pains and getting kicked in the balls is that one is a compulsory monthly event and the other one is probably because you were being a dick.

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  • 1 day ago
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teenscoolest:

if your gonna be nice to me there is a 89647212% chance im gonna date you

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mainheaux:

This might not go how I want it to but mutuals describe yourself and shit on anon and imma see if I can guess who you are

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  • 1 day ago
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fuck-benedict-cumberbatch:

hey friend. one day ur gonna be happy. one day ur gonna be sitting w someone u love in ur favourite place in the world and ur gonna think “wow. life is p great” and everything will be okay. but u gotta make it til then okay? just hang in there. u’ll be okay.

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  • 1 day ago
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